Loving Her
by miss mcGonagle
Summary: A series of 100wd drabbles following Bill's journey through season four as he deals with Laura's cancer and the trials they face together. Spoilers for season four. Comments are appreciated.
1. He That Believeth In Me

**The characters and all that belong to RDM. Comments are appreciated.**

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He That Believeth In Me

"Is the president still staying in your quarters?"

Lee was hitting all the sore spots tonight and Bill was too tired to fight back.

Kara had returned, bringing only more heartache, Lee was leaving the military, and he had even brought up Zak; his memory like a punch to the gut. And now he was bringing Laura into this, not so subtly pointing out that Bill was now biased to her point of view.

But Bill refused to be challenged on his desire to keep Laura near him as her strength was slowly fading away. He was tired of losing.


	2. Six Of One

Six of One

"Starbuck's got the president."

_These women are going to be the death of me._ Bill found no humor in this thought as he ran from CIC to his quarters.

Laura had nearly died once, Kara had risked death more times than he could count, he'd lost them both to New Caprica, Kara _had_ died, and now Laura's cancer was back.

This cycle of losing the women he loved was taking its toll on him. Bill wondered how long it would be before his heart succumbed to the pain of loving and the grief of losing and just stopped beating altogether.

Laura's voice was bitter but her words held great truths that moved through him like a bullet.

The reality was too harsh for Bill and he fought back, trying to wound her just as her sickness was wounding him. She told him he was afraid to live alone, but in truth he was afraid to live without her.

"You're afraid you're not the dying leader you thought you were." _I pray daily that you're not. _

"That your death may be as meaningless as everyone else's." _Your death would take all meaning from my own life. _

_Please don't give up yet._


	3. Ties That Bind

Ties That Bind

Laura wasn't expecting him and her breath caught in surprise when she heard him arrive.

She was still mad about his decision to give Kara a ship and knew that her angry disapproval frustrated him, but she should have known that it would take more than this to keep him away.

The fight over the _Demetrius_ had been a shield against the discussion they should've been having;_ Bill, I'm scared. I won't leave; I love you. _

They'd been dancing around this for ages, but that day Bill decided to start the conversation; "Love and Bullets by Nick Taylo. Chapter One."


	4. Escape Velocity

Escape Velocity

Laura thought that because he didn't want to discuss her impending death he wasn't listening. But when she said she liked that type of service, he made note. Because he wanted to know what she liked.

One night she whispered into his shoulder her desire to be buried on Earth, and he kept this knowledge close to his heart.

Although it made his stomach churn to imagine actually doing so, he found himself composing her eulogy which he would deliver himself. Long ago she had confided that she liked his voice. And Bill wanted to give her what she liked.

"Oh dear. Are you going to be able to continue?"

As if he could refuse her anything.

He had lied when he said he hadn't finished this book, he had and the ending had not been the easy, happy resolution he had hoped for. Each time he reread this book he stopped at the same chapter, unwilling to relive the painful finale.

And so it was for them; knowing how devastating the end would be, Bill was willing to forgo the inevitable, but Laura pushed him, forcing him to acknowledge that the book had an end, and so did she.


	5. Faith

**Sorry for the delay. There will be no drabbles for "The Road Less Traveled" because there was nothing for me to work with.**

Faith

He was tired of losing.

She had told him all this before, when he was drunk and fighting and scared out of his mind. But tonight, after sitting with her and listening to her talk about what she had seen and shared with this woman Emily, he admitted it. To her and to himself.

Helo, Athena, Gaeta, Kara, they were all overdue and he worried that he would never see those kids again. He admitted this to her and she gave him the best comfort he could desire.

"Bill, look at me. Look at me. I'm right here. Right here."


End file.
